To my dearest Dawn,
Some people who commit suicide leave a suicide note.
The song by the Bee Gees is a message I considered leaving for you.
I still see you at home. No it is no longer our home. It is just a house and we are housemates.
My head tells me that you have left me but deep down in my heart, there is still a hope that you have not.
You are so near and yet so far.
It really hurts and I feel so sad. Sometimes I consider ending life so that I no longer have to face the fear of you leaving me.
You are iike the photograph hanging on the wall. I can see you but cannot hear you speaking to me.
I cannot feel you touching or holding me. I cannot touch you. I can only touch the photograph and imagine myself touching you.
Perhaps I should leave this world.
I hope that you will not forget me.
I hope that what you remember is not the quarrels we have or the years of silence when we do not talk to one another.
I hope that you will remember the ❤ that we had. I hope that you will remember us walking 🧑🤝🧑hand in hand. I hope that you will remember all the wonderful times we had together. 🤩🥰😍
Most of all, I hope that you will give me a little hope that life is still worth living. That I should not end it.
I have tried to fill my life with other things. But I cannot and remain drawn to you.
Will my dream of you being real in my life rather than as a photograph ever come true.
I ❤ you.
Your (am I still yours?) Eric.
Perhaps what has kept me from sending the note to you is the scripture that with God All Things Are Possible.
I am hoping that God will work things out between us.