This is my first post ever after years of reading AITA posts, but now I need to know if IATA. I (23f) have been living with my boyfriend (22m)and his family for about 2 months. My living situation changed while my boyfriend and I were working out of state for the summer with no service so I needed somewhere to go temporarily when we got back as I wasn’t able to go back to my apartment due to issues with my landlord.
My boyfriend told me I could come live in the basement apartment with him at his parents house temporarily while we save up for our own place. ( our summer job didn’t pay well at all and it was mostly the experience we went for, so we didn’t have much in savings when we returned) His parents are very involved in almost everything from our finances to our jobs and so forth.
I haven’t been on birth control for about 4 years, it’s a personal decision because every birth control I have been on has affected me badly. Mostly pain wise, bleeding wise and just generally feeling awful while being on it. I was in a 3 year relationship before my current boyfriend without being on birth control and we were always super careful, always using condoms and always going to get a plan b if the condom broke or we felt uneasy like it might’ve broken or something like that.
And it must be somewhat affective as I never got pregnant during this time.
Me and my current boyfriend have been together for 4 months now. And we felt moving in together would work out well as we have known eachother and been friends since junior year of high school so it didn’t feel like we were rushing or anything like that. Things have been going well besides his parents being super involved in everything, it was overwhelming at first because my parents were the exact opposite but I’ve gotten used to it and have grown to appreciate it in certain areas like finance advice.
Well the other day during dinner, it was just me and my boyfriends mother as my boyfriend and his dad were out for the evening.
I will preface this by saying his mother has been nothing but nice to me since I moved in and we frequently run errands together and go on walks. Well out of nowhere she starts asking me questions about birth control. It took me by surprise as sex wasn’t really talked about in my very religious household growing up. It was taboo and my mother only ever told me to be smart and safe and that was it.
I told his mother that I wasn’t currently on birth control and tried to explain why and she got extremely mad and upset and told me that it was disrespectful to be living there and not be on some kind of method while sleeping in the same bed as her son. And that I needed to make an appointment immediately. Now I have pretty bad anxiety so this conversation really overwhelmed me and so I just told her I was uncomfortable talking about this, but I would make an appointment and went downstairs to recuperate.
I told my boyfriend when he got home and he said he sees where she’s coming from but that it was crossing boundaries to drill into me like that about it as it is our business and our sex life. We agreed though that birth control was probably a good idea and that I could go see a doctor about my options and find one that wouldn’t cause as much pain and issues as soon as my health insurance through my new job was active which would be Oct 1st. Now that’s about 2 weeks away from now which is alright with us, we aren’t nymphos so two weeks abstinence is not the end of the world.
But this morning while me and my boyfriend were upstairs making food, his mom brought up birth control again and asked if I made an appointment. I told her not yet and that I was waiting for my health insurance so I wouldn’t have to pay as much. Some birth control methods are crazy expensive without insurance and we’re trying to save up for a place so I thought I was making a good decision financially.
Well his mother got insanely made again and said no that wasn’t going to work. To which my boyfriend annoyed replied “well it really isn’t any of your business” and she replied “two weeks is way too long to wait when you two are sharing a bed!” We tried to explain the whole abstinence thing and she basically called us rabbits and that we couldn’t be trusted to wait that long.
This made me really angry. Because at the end of the day it’s my body and my choice. And even though I am uncomfortable being on birth control, I’m still willing to compromise. But all that aside, I am a grown adult and all this is my business. And I’m really uncomfortable with his parents being involved in that aspect of our relationship and told my boyfriend to tell them that as they haven’t listened to me when I’ve told them. AITA?Sep 18, 2023 
Pro-Choice & Support
