Hello Sativa Family Members 

So, a while back, during a particularly challenging conversation with my teenage kid, I heard myself say “There isn’t anything you could think, say, or do that would change how I feel about you. I love you. But whether or not I can trust you is up to you.” After that interaction I questioned whether that were true. And in hindsight I have to say, yes! I will always love my kids, but whether I can trust them really has to do with their choices.

Isn’t that true in other relationships as well? Sure, we may quibble over this and that, but trust seems to be merited more than love is. Love seems to be deserved by virtue of our shared humanity. Trust, on the other hand, seems to be reserved for those who do something to earn that trust.

To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.

Loving someone, or at least being kind or compassionate to them, says nothing about my ability or willingness to trust that same individual. I love you enough to take you to that thing, but I don’t trust you enough to drive yourself. And what is that based on? Well, on the one hand, I want my kid to succeed at that thing they are involved with and therefore I will drop everything to take them, but on the other hand, I don’t trust them to drive themselves to that thing since last week they were pulled over and ticketed for inattentive driving.

And a lack of trust has significant costs for all parties involved. Conversely, in high trust environments and relationships costs go down and speed to get stuff done goes up.