Dating can be so damaging in a world where women are constantly objectified

Dating men in my experience has been emotionally damaging, I constantly feel objectified, and it’s safe to say I won’t be dating again. I know I’m not alone, and women deserve better than this.

I am a 28 year old who has had absolutely horrific luck in regards to dating. As a result, this past year or so, I have avoided dating entirely. I’ve remained celibate and focused on myself, bettered my life, and have been relatively happy and content with being alone up until recently.

A couple of months ago, I started feeling like “maybe I’d like to find someone and I think I’m ready for that”. Started putting myself out there, downloaded a dating app, and got a few matches that went nowhere, and I’m ALREADY burned out. I don’t want just empty, emotionless, casual sex, and the more I set boundaries that reinforce that, the less interest I receive.

I was talking to someone, and after plans were made to go out, he immediately was talking about getting physical. Like his automatic thought process was “I’m getting laid!!!” Idk it was weird and it felt gross to me, esp bc I’m demisexual and I communicate that I’m not looking to hook up. Made me feel like his only motives were sex.

Navigating a dating world full of men who immediately only see you as a potential lay is exhausting. It makes me feel subhuman. It feels impossible to find someone who will value me as a human being instead of an object to be used for temporary pleasure. Makes me feel like my only value to men is entirely physical, and who I am at my core doesn’t matter. It’s degrading.

On top of that, I’ve had a couple men in my past manipulate or straight up lie to me by appearing to want something emotional. In reality, I was quite literally used. I would develop feelings, we would sleep together, and they would pull away and ghost me after they got that they wanted. I would be discarded like a literal object. That’s dehumanizing.

So many men genuinely do not see us as people. Our thoughts, opinions, emotions, who we are down to our fundamental cores as human beings do not matter to them. That sucks.

I know I am valuable and caring and full of love to give. I know I have worth. Someone would be lucky to have me. But it’s so hard not to have my self worth affected by the fact that I feel like I’m constantly viewed as meat. There’s more to women than that, and I wish some men could see it..