I’m 19 y/o, getting an abortion, scared and with no support system

I found out I’m pregnant about two weeks ago and I’m going to be having an abortion. I don’t think I’m any farther along than 6-7 weeks. I’ve never in my life felt so, in a way, violated, so out of control and so scared. I never wanted kids and it feels horrible and I can’t even stand to look at my own body, there’s no bump but the fact I know it’s there it makes me feel uncomfortable. I’m terrified about how the procedure is going to go I’m so so scared. I don’t want to deal with it I don’t. I’ve heard so many awful stories and read up so much about the different types of procedures and I think of myself having them and I just can’t. I can’t I’m terrified. Of the pain of the aftermath. I don’t feel guilty about having to do it thank god, I have no other choice but it’s still killing me. I have close to panic attacks because of it and lose sleep. I never wanted this I’m too young to deal with this on top of everything else. It’s really messing me up mentally.

I have no support system, it’s hard to talk about these things with my bf because I feel like he really can’t put himself in my shoes or offer much comfort or find things to say to make it feel a little easier. He’s really bad at communicating things like that and it makes me feel so so so alone. I lost most of my close friends for various reasons and there is not a single person I can pour my heart out to or reach out for support. And I need it so bad right now.

Just a few things I needed to get off my chest.