Pro-Choice & SupportPro-Choice & Support Pro-Choice & Support My mother has been single for years now, and has been meeting new men, whenever she can. I have no issue with that. She's her own person, so it's up to her what she does. Nor does she require my permission or approval of her actions. What does bother me, though, is when these creeps (and yes, that is an appropriate term for these particular men) ask about me. They are happy enough to talk to her about whatever, but when they inquire about her family situation, and she mentions her children, the conversation shifts.
She tells them about me and my brother, and then the questions start pouring in. "How old is your daughter?" Never any questions about my brother. "Does she live there with you?" "Tell me about her?" "What are her interests?", etc. If I happen to be in the house when they call to talk to her, they ask to speak to me. My mother has even shoved her phone in my face in the past, just to accommodate these weirdos. One guy asked if he came to the house, did she think I'd be willing to get in his car with him and go for a ride?! Like, what the actual hell is that?! These guys are in their 40s, 50s, and even older. Another guy asked about my bra size, to which my mother just laughed it off and paid it no mind??? Why the hell would you not IMMEDIATELY shut the conversation down after hearing that? That same guy called her again a few weeks later, and started asking if I have a boyfriend and other EXTREMELY inappropriate questions.
I don't know if she's just so desperate for their attention that she's willing to ignore such disgusting behavior from these men, but it makes me feel extremely unsafe. She tells these guys where we live and everything. What if one of them comes to the house and takes things way further than just asking his repulsive questions? This isn't right to me. If I had a child, I would sacrifice anything to keep them safe. My mother is more than happy to entertain these weirdos, and it scares me so, so much.
What do you thing is wrong with my mom? What should I do/tell her?Apr 12, 2023 Pro-Choice & Support Pro-Choice & Support Pro-Choice & Support Pro-Choice & Support Pro-Choice & Support Pro-Choice & Support This past Friday, I had a surgical abortion at 6.4 weeks. I found out I was pregnant on January 10th, but was too early along to have the procedure done right away. I spent the next 2+ weeks reading everything I could about the procedure online, making myself sick with anxiety. I read countless posts by women who had terrible experiences, and I feared that I would experience the same. My anxiety was so bad that I wasn't sleeping, and on top of that, I was constantly nauseas/throwing up from the pregnancy hormones. I was also going through this without a partner, as my ex who got me pregnant and I were/are not on speaking terms and he has no idea that any of this happened.
Fortunately, my SA experience was about as positive as it could be and I want to share what helped me through this, as someone who suffers from severe anxiety and also has PMDD (hormonal issue):
1- When I found out I was pregnant, I spoke with an OBGYN who used to perform abortions, and she advised me to opt for an SA over an MA, despite how early along I was. She said in her experience, MA's have about a 50% success rate and she found that most patients would have to go back for an SA regardless. MA's also tend to be more painful/gruesome. An SA is much safer and much more likely to "work" fully (this was my biggest fear- that the procedure wouldn't work). With an SA you can likely return to work the next day, if you are unable to take extended time off.
2- I called multiple clinics until I found one that offered IV sedation. I was terrified of having to experience the pain of the procedure, and even more terrified by the possibility of remembering the procedure. The first two clinics (Planned Parenthoods) that I called did not offer ANY options for pain management or sedation. Fortunately, I found a women's clinic that offered IV sedation- for my surgery, I was sedated with propofol.
3- Ask about anxiety management options beforehand, if you are extremely nervous like I was. My clinic offered Ativan for anxiety management, and I took 1 mg about 30 minutes before my procedure.
Overall, I was shocked by how smoothly my procedure went. There were some initial issues with my ultrasound, but after that everything went well. As far as side effects go, all I have experienced is spotting and bloating/cramping. My nausea (which was severe) went away immediately after my procedure. I was emotional over the weekend, but today (4 days later) my mood has gone back to baseline and I feel like a person again. The anxiety before the procedure was ultimately the worst part. I'm sending love to everyone who has or will go through this.Feb 2, 2023 Pro-Choice & Support Pro-Choice & Support Pro-Choice & Support Hello readers, I just wanted to come on here and share a little bit about my experiences with medical abortion and surgical abortion. I just had a surgical abortion about 4 hours ago and I had a medical abortion 5 years ago. Comparing the two, the surgical abortion was a much more confortable experience.. the biggest reason why is because of the general anesthesia. When I did the medical abortion (7 weeks, 19yo, 110lbs). I was at PP & besides some concern for my anemia, everything there went smoothly. Its when I got home & took the next dose of medicine that I was in an immense amount of pain. I had cramps that felt like something was shocking my uterus & i was bleeding so heavily. I tend to have an irregular period but with a steady flow for 5 days & the bleeding was nothing like that. The bleeding and the pain led me to the hospital ER where I was given morphine intravenously to tame it all… I was at home cramping for 3 hours, at the hospital for another 2 hours, then went home where I was able to pass the last of the blood clots & suddenly everything stopped. The crying, the pain & the bleeding.. still, I remember that being some of the most traumatic hours of my life… The next days I would still cry uncontrollably & spontaneously even though I was doing well at keeping myself distracted. Today’s experience was a lot more pleasant than before. (5 weeks, 24yo, 115lbs) I chose SA with general anesthesia so that I could avoid everything from before.. Besides waiting for the doctor to take me in, the procedure itself was done in less than 10 minutes. The most pain I felt was when the anesthesiologist was putting in the IV. After the anesthesia was delivered I immediately fell asleep, waking up in a recovery room with it all having been done. I was steady on my feet walking out 20 minuets later. (Went into surgery at 3:45pm and came out by 4:20, though someone does need to drive you home afterwards) I had some cramping but the heating pads I bought at Walgreens is helping take care of that. I even ate in n out afterwords. I haven’t even needed to take any pain or nausea relief. Now im laying down in bed feeling like if nothing serious has happened and im dealing with some premenstrual cramps. (Hardly any bleeding) In my first abortion i chose MA because I read its less invasive and you get to be in your home through it, however I would’ve much rather preferred this method. It felt a lot safer & a lot more comfortable.Jan 21, 2023 Pro-Choice & Support Pro-Choice & Support Pro-Choice & Support Pro-Choice & Support Pro-Choice & Support For context, I had an abortion about three weeks ago. I have been sexually actively without hormonal birth control for two years. With my previous partner, we used condoms religiously, never even had a scare. The next partner, the one I got pregnant with, I’ve known for a long time and is a long distance friend. He came to visit and refused to wear condoms. I told him to, even bought some. I know I’m to blame for that too, I could have just not had sex without one, but my point is I prefer condoms, have no problem using them (I guess just need a partner that respects this). I’ve told this to my doctor but every time she calls me about a post-abortion follow-up (I had some complications that require weekly blood tests), she talks about which birth control I’ve selected and tells me about how great IUDs are. I had problems when I was on hormonal birth control. I now have an extremely regular cycle with minimal cramping and an overall very easy period. I am very symptomatic and sensitive, any time I have problems I get every symptom in the book. I guess what I’m looking for is some advice on how to go about this, if anyone else has felt similar, and how others have reacted to an IUD or other forms of birth control.
Thank you and happy New Year everyone.Jan 1, 2023 Pro-Choice & Support 
